What Do I Think I Look Like
I am a rather practical person. If I look in the mirror I assume that the same thing I see is the same thing that everyone else sees.
However, what do I do about beauty? If I look in the mirror and think I am beautiful but don’t have guys lined around the block, am I actually still beautiful. Hell yes!
Beauty is skin deep, in the eye of the beholder and is temporal. In layman terms that means we do not all see beauty the same way. Beauty is subjective. If that is the case, why would it matter what someone else thinks? The truth is that it should not matter but the way it happens in life is through struggle and pain.
Struggle and pain. If only I looked a certain way I will find that special someone. If I can cover up this tblemish then I can be confident. Then, you make all these changes, wear the best make up and no one notices and still no men lining up around the corner. After all that vain and pointless work, no change happened to the way you look at yourself in the mirror and that is sucky.
Don’t Look At Others The Way You Want To Be Viewed
Now, this is the opposite of everything that people are taught, however there is no universal criteria for self image. You may only look good if you have you hair done, face waxed, make up on and I may see something inherently wrong with makeup… And I actually do. Those two people, if they are even friends cannot impose their image on the other. That would be something I call poopy.
Why Is This An Issue Today
Well, I was out living my life and I heard something rather vile and it was about me and after it was said I had to ask, is that what you think is going through my head? It was sad and disappointing to think that someone actually thought they saw me as I saw myself. Are you a gypsy mind reader? You surely don’t know the minds of others.
This is a simply living battle because at times I recede from people around me. It has nothing to do with not feeling good about myself, it’s about wanting to be alone. I work from home and twice a week I leave my house to see people because I need to fellowship and have a reason to shower. Just kidding about that shower… Sort of. I love having time to myself. I have great thoughts!
But, on the real, this ticked me off to no end. I feel better now, but it took me these words to really get it out there.
Now, to be fair, something happened to me that changed somethings about me- and there is a physical reminder of it. Many people say they cannot tell unless they really look but it’s my face so of course I can see it even in the dark.
Let Me Tell You About That Picture
I took this photo a few weeks ago at an event with my bible fellowship and now that it has passed, I can say that I almost did not go. I was so certain all people would see is what is wrong, but that was not true. They saw me. Same ole KT. If I was struggling with my image it was then, and I worked it out there with lovely people but not everyone was there. If you were not there, don’t feel bad. We are busy sometimes and when it boils down to it, you made your choice and there is no making up that time. It is gone and even though you were not there you have to figure out how much growing I did in your absence and don’t make the mistake of thinking I am where I started because you were gone.
That is all. I am heading back home today. I am writing this from my plane. I will be uploading the photos from the bruch and some of the door I had while out of town. Very exciting stuff!